Jack of all trades and master of none. I am guilty, guilty as sin. I am beginning to believe that I have loads of skills but have yet to find one that I can turn into dollars. I am being bombarded at the moment with feedback from people saying that I have such very good skills in this or that, why don't I do something with it? Just what do you do with a mish mash of skills? This is the question I need answers to right now. I have written a lot of it down and I have handed it over to power greater than my head........my inner knowing, God, a higher power, call it what you will as I cannot deal with it any longer. There are many many options open to me but just which one is the question.
I am unable to walk anymore as I have broken out in skin cancer again dammit, dam the ozone and CFCs, I am now vertually confined to the indoors for the next 6 months and this saddens me as I found walking to be very condusive to good thinking. But there is a reason for this to happen, wish I knew exactly what it was and I requested that my Inner Knowing tell me loud and clear and so explicit that my course of action be clear beyond reasonable doubt, my patience is wearing thin.
I seems as though the theme of my blogs is constant, being at the crossroads of life is quite perplexing and I find that this does help to some extent, I just hope nobody reads it.
I taped myself speaking yesterday just to overcome that fear and I sound terrible........I just don't know how people can say that I am a good speaker. Do people still say things they don't mean just to be nice or butter you up? oh well, it was an interesting exercise.
I am putting some ideas do on paper as my experiences may be of use to someone else and I may get someone who is a good writer to put them in some semblence of order just as my other writings on stepparenting are. I have no idea how to write, it is a skill that has eluded me as I listened to those dammed stupid teachers I had when I was young. "Dianne has only average abilities" or "Dianne does not have a writing talent to complete this course" etc etc. No wonder I always felt like a square peg in a round hole.
Those were the "Good Old Days" good riddance I say, they were not good old days at all.


" O Son of Spirit

My first counsel is this; Possess a pure, kindly and
radiant heart, that thine may be a sovereignty ancient.
imperishable and everlasting."
Baha'u'llah

The harder I try, the messier things get. I have been particulary grumpy lately and I am wondering if it is my impatience or whether I am being a victim again. I swore I would never go back to that place. Ultimately, I am rsponsible for my situation and the enviroment around me is a mirror. It is a combination of beauty and horror. Sometimes it seems, the more I give the bigger the hole I dig myself into. This may all sound a tad bizzare but I know what it means. I have had hayfever very badly of late and that tends to make me grumpy, the constant pain in my head/sinus is unbearable at times so I shall see if I can get my medication changed. But then, I should......now there is a good procrastination word......rise above it. I am reminded of a quote by Frank Barron........
The creative idividual not only respects the irrational in himself,
but courts the most promising source of novelty in his own thought..
The creative person is both more primitive and more cultured,
More destructive and more constructive
Crazier and saner, than the average person.
Now there is food for thought. I hadn't thought of that saying in years and suddenly it came to me.